Johanna
by Sizzlak
Summary: I've always loved the character of Johanna Mason, and i'm fascinated by what made her the way she is,you know snarky and mean, so i decided to write a fic detailing the life of Johanna Mason up till the Third Quarter Quell.


**Hey so I hope you enjoy this, I just had to write about Johanna, she's one of my favorite characters, and although I haven't looked very hard I actually haven't seen a fic about Johanna's games. Anyway, enjoy!**

_Gosh he's good looking: with that flyaway blond hair and those kind blue eyes… and that body, but he's so much more than just looks. He's kind, caring, intelligent, and so strong, not just physically, but where it really matters, in his spirit…_

"Jo?" says a voice, breaking in on my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I reply distantly.

A sigh, "You're doing it again Jo."

I realize that the voice belongs to Alex… my boyfriend. "Doing what?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

He hesitates for a moment and I take the opportunity to look him over. Alex is good looking too: tall and muscular with short dark hair, and bright green eyes, eyes that are looking sadly at me now, "You're looking at him," he says, "you're always looking at him."

I sigh softly and lean in to kiss him on the cheek, "I'm sorry Alex," I know this doesn't' seem like much, but we both know that it's all that I can give him.

"You were sorry last time and the time before that, you're always sorry, but it never changes anything," after a long awkward pause he continues, "I never understood what you see in him any way… _Rowan Darkwood_," he says the name like a curse.

It would almost be amusing how much Alex hates this person that he's never even met, if I weren't the reason for that hatred, but unfortunately I am, and Alex deserves the truth. "We were friends once," I say quietly.

"What! But he's rich! He's from town! And you're…" he trails off to avoid insulting me.

"I'm what?" I ask him, "Poor? Come on Alex do you think I don't know that?" I ask.

"Sorry, but how could you have ever been friends with him?" he says curiously.

_It was the first day of school, and I was all alone on the playground. Some idiotic boy had tripped me during a game of tag, and I'd run away crying. I'd cried myself out, and was leaning up against the fence that enclosed the school yard. Then he came he smiled down at me, and asked, "What's the matter?"_

"_I fell," I responded sniffling._

_He looked gravely down at me and said, "You got a boo boo?" he waited for me to nod. Then he leaned in kissed my knee where I'd scraped it when I'd been tripped, "There all better now. My names Rowan, what's yours?"_

"_Johanna."_

I sigh, "Look, Alex it's not really any of your business, but it was in kindergarten, before either of us realized that it couldn't work out."

_I see Rowan walking across the school yard towards me, it's been about a year since we first met, and since then he's become my best friend. _

"_Hey Rowan!" I say happy, as always to see him._

"_Hey Johanna," he says, but he sounds unhappy._

"_What's wrong?" I ask him frowning._

"_Momma says we can't be friends anymore," he responds, "she says that you're trash, and that you're just using me."_

_This confuses me, "Using you for what?"_

"_I don't know, she wouldn't tell me…" he trails off_

" _Do you really believe all those things that she said about me?" I ask, "Do you think I'm trash? That I'm just using you?"_

"_No of course not Johanna, it's just my momma…"_

_I cut him off, "Well then you're momma's a bad person telling lies about me like that."_

"_No she's not!" he argues back._

"_Fine then I never wanted to be friends with you anyways!" I scream at him and run away. That was the first time we fought… and the last time we ever talked to each other._

"Johanna? Jeeze stop zoning out on me like that," says Alex.

"Sorry. Did you say something?"

"Yea," he says, "I asked what ended it."

I sigh softly tears forming in my eyes, "His mother. She called me trash, and told him that I was just using him."

"Were you? Using him I mean." he asks.

"Oh please Alex I was seven," I respond, "and besides I would never do that to anyone. You should know me better than that."

"So did he believe her?" he pauses until I shake my head, "Then what happened?"

"I told him that his mom was a bad person and a liar, he disagreed, and I said that I never wanted to be friends with him in the first place… we haven't talked since." I reply sadly.

"So you haven't talked to him since?" I shake my head and he seems reassured about something, "So why _do_ you stare at him so much?"

"I don't' know," I reply honestly, "it's not like he's hard to look at," I add the second part without thinking, and regret it instantly when Alex's face crumples in pain.

"Is that it then? Just cause he's good looking?" Alex pleas.

He is obviously hoping that I'll say yes, but once again he deserves the truth, "No, there's more to it than that… ever since I met him I've felt drawn to him, almost like we're meant to be in each other's lives. It feels like something brought us together for a reason."

Alex snorts, "So that's what this is all about. You think he's your soul mate or something."

It's a statement rather than a question, but I decide to answer anyway, "Not my soul mate exactly, I don't know if we're supposed to be together like that… but I just can't get over this feeling that we're connected somehow."

"Look Jo. Nothing can happen between you. He's from town it would never be allowed, and besides he probably doesn't even remember you." He says harshly

"He stares at me sometimes too!" I blurt out without thinking.

"I see… Jo I've been thinking, and I think that maybe we need to talk… about us…" he trails off and the sad look is back in his eyes.

_He's gonna break up with me ._I'm stunned into silence.

"I love you Johanna Mason, but I think it's safe to say that you don't feel the same way about me," he pauses just long enough for me to nod assent, "so as much as I'd love to be with you and keep you for myself, that's not fair to you."

"No," I say seeing how much this is hurting him, "you were right it could never work… maybe if you just gave me time…"

He sighs, "We both know you're not going to get over him anytime soon, but if you ever do come find me, I'll be waiting."

"I'm so sorry Alex," I apologize.

"For what?" he asks confused.

"For this whole thing, I'm sorry I put you through this."

"Don't be ," he says with a sad smile, "if anything I'm the one who should be sorry."

He's blaming this on himself, I'm horrified.

"I'm sorry that I don't have what you're looking for Jo," then he leans in slowly tilting his head to one side. I'm still shocked into immobility by the events of the last few minutes, but as his lips meet mine movement returns. We share a long passionate kiss, but then too soon we break apart, and I know that things will never be the same between us again.

Suddenly Alex grins, "That certainly didn't help my will power," he sees my expression and his voice softens, "Come on Jo I'm giving you chance here, go talk to him," I don't move and he sighs, "Just remember Jo tomorrow's Reaping Day, this might be the last chance you get."

Alex stands up and walks slowly towards the wilderness, the poor part of District Seven, he never looks back, and in my mind his last words are replaying over and over. _This might be the last chance you get._

If only he'd known how right he was.

**Hope you enjoyed this if you did (or didn't) please review and tell me why! I'll try to update this about once a week.**


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